By Gail Suplee Tatum, Columnist, The Times
I want to be clear on one very important point. Spirituality is completely different from religion. Religion is a particular sector with specific doctrine and/or rules attached. Spirituality has to do with self-realization that we, as individuals, are a part of a larger unit, a higher power. That is different for each and every human being because it lies within us and is unique to how we view our lives. Keep in mind, not everyone in this world is good and pure of heart, however, I’d like to think that the majority of the people are, and that is who I am appealing to.
Having said that, it is important to discuss how spirituality affects your ReFirement. As we approach and get on the “other side of the hill” and start attending more funerals than weddings we start to wonder what we want our legacy to be. I must confess, I lost my parents and only sibling by the time I was 48 years old, so I started thinking about my own mortality at, perhaps, a much earlier age. I will share 3 steps that I found truly helped me navigate my spiritual journey in the early part of my ReFirement.
- Realize your mortality. How much time do I have left? It is a question that none of us have the answer to. I often reflect on the many events in my life that make me realize how short life is and that I shouldn’t waste any time or take a single moment for granted. That can be a scary thought because most of us, at times, DO waste more than a minute! I think about what my purpose in life is. What is my God-given talent? Am I sharing my talent with others? Do you know what your God-given talent is? Do you know what the purpose of your life, here on earth, is? Take time to meditate and ponder that thought. In our quiet moments is when those answers will be revealed. Another thought is how well do we take care of our bodies, the vehicle that carries our spirit? Even though we don’t know when our “time is up”, we must focus on what we CAN do in order to extend our lives, as best we can. We must start by taking care of ourselves, meaning, eat right, exercise and get proper rest. That takes care of our bodies but, just as important, we must take care of our hearts and minds, by beginning around the people that uplift us and bring us peace and happiness. Think of mind, body and soul.
- Decide what is really important. You’ve heard the saying that, when we pass, the emphasis will not be on how many hours were spent at the office, it will be on how many lives we touched in our lives. It will be all about the good deeds we did and how present we were in our family and friends’ lives. Being a significant presence in the world is what should resonate. Have you ever smiled at a stranger? It is rare to not get a smile back. That smile might be the only kindness that person feels that day. That smile could be the driving force to keep that person encouraged to power through whatever they are going through. Take the importance of something like that from your heart, to the hearts of your family and friends and extend it to the hearts of the world, where sadly, there are too many people hurting.
- Your Bucket list. This list needs no boundaries or limitations on it. What are your burning desires? Make several copies of that list. Put it in a few prominent places so that you’re always reminded of what is on your list. Add to it! Your mind will expand and your dreams will get bigger, or maybe not bigger, necessarily, but, instead, have more depth. Cross off the things you accomplished!
Let me end by sharing two quotes. First, a quote from A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson, “Love is what we were born with. Fear is what we have learned here. The spiritual journey is the relinquishment-or unlearning-of fear and the acceptance of love back into our hearts. Love is the essential existential fact. It is our ultimate reality and our purpose on earth. To be consciously aware of it, to experience love in ourselves and others, is the meaning of life.” The second quote is from the Beatles song, “The End”, “…and in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.
