Suggestions to make the transition to the next step easier
By Kelly Hockenberry, Columnist, The Times
Dear Graduates,
You have reached a major milestone in life. Graduating from high school is no easy feat, particularly in this day and age. When I was in high school, people certainly were competitive in terms of grades or athletic prowess; but, back then, no one was being offered a Division 1 scholarship as a sophomore or killing themselves trying to maintain a 4.7 GPA (I’m still confused as to how that number exists, but, whatever).
And while bullying is as old as time, we weren’t inundated with the opinions and criticism of others 24/7/365. It is challenging enough being a teenager without the social media spotlight. In addition, the expectations put upon you by parents and teachers were steep. But, the bright side is that you will be a better college student for it. You are more prepared than many others heading off to school in a few weeks. You have been provided with a strong, educational foundation; however, equally as important, as you venture out into the world, is staying true to who you are. If you recognize and nurture the different parts of self, you will do just fine:
- Physical Self While it is tempting to go crazy when you finally break free of the shackles imposed by your parents, there is a reason we have been so vigilant when it comes to your health. You actually FEEL better when you take care of yourself. Everything in moderation is a critical lesson (that, unfortunately, many never master). Don’t drink too much, eat too much, or pull allnighters on a regular basis. Stay active, join an intramural team, exercise daily, make good choices.
- Social Self I think one of the hardest parts about going away to school is leaving your old friends behind. Making new friends gets harder and harder as we age because we tend to become set in our ways and we’re reluctant to make ourselves vulnerable. Take this opportunity to meet new people and diversify your relationships. Unionville (as well as much of the rest of Chester County) is a tiny (somewhat sheltered…can we agree?), homogenous microcosm not reflective of real life. Embrace difference it will make you grow.
- Emotional Self It’s OK to feel anxious about going away. Guess what? Your parents are, too. Change is uncomfortable. The way to get through it is to communicate your feelings to people you can lean on….like your family. The transition into adulthood is a gradual process. You can’t expect to get it right straight out of the gate. Keeping things bottled up inside is never the answer. Stay connected to others. Reach out to friends to simply say “hi”. There’s strength in numbers and you have hundreds of other kids from high school that are in the same boat. And, I can guarantee that a call home to Mom or Dad at any time of the day or night would be welcome. (Note to son)
- Spiritual Self I would risk being struck by lightning if I spoke about the importance of “spiritual self” in relation to any sort of organized religion. I will leave that advice to come from others more pious than myself. However, I do advocate for the need to find some way to be grateful for the opportunities that you have been given. You have had the privilege of attending an award winning school with engaged and caring teachers. You live in an area of the world free from the plight of famine or the violence of war. In order to reflect on the positive, it is helpful to journal a few things that you are grateful for at the end of the day. Making this step a part of your nightly routine will change your overall outlook on life. I promise.
On a personal note, I still can’t believe that my first born is ready to make this step. It is taking every ounce of restraint for me not to rent an apartment across the street from campus. What? I think that is perfectly normal. However, I will respect his wishes and only demand that he Facetime me a minimum of twice per day.
Good luck to the Class of 2016. You will forever hold a special place in my heart.
